Writer's block

as asked for chapter one of potc bleeying ruby.

( cut to fic )

heres the next part of the sherlock holmes fic thought you night like to read tho sorry its so long. ^^

Claire and Sherlock arrived back at Claire’s and Emma’s apartment quite late that night. The pair were laughing at something as they opened the door to the apartment, though both stopped as they looked in the room.
“Emma?” Claire asked as she and Holmes stood in the door. Holmes glared at the man standing in the living room, his hand clenched on the door so much that his knuckles turned Wight, this Claire noticed.
“My dear Friend, is that any way to look at an old friend?” James asked tacking a step towards them.
“You sir are no friend of mine!” Holmes all most yelled at him before walking away.
Claire gave Emma and James a worried look before dropping her bag and running after Holmes.
“Well that could have gone worse,” James grinned at Emma, who looked worried as she picked Claire’s bag up.

“Holmes, wait up,” Claire called as she ran after him. Holmes only stopped for her when he came out of a shop now caring a large bottle of sampan.
“What’s that for?” Claire asked as she caught her breath.
“This is to celebrate the return of my arch villain, who all ready seams to be trying to get at me!” Holmes said as he opened the bottle and took a deep drink.
“I don’t think you should be drinking that Holmes,” Claire said looking slightly worried.
Holmes just continued to drink as he started to walk toward the local park, with Claire following closely.

A few moments latter Holmes sat down on a bench. Claire stood a little way away watching him closely.
After another swig he asked,
“Did you have ‘HIM’ frozen as well?” Holmes asked looking up at her.
Claire nodded thought didn’t look him in the eyes,
“You were both frozen together, incase there was a time when we would need your brain’s for the futcher,” Claire explained.
Another drink, then,
“Why am I here now then? Why did your father bring me back to life?” Holmes asked still looking at her.
“I don’t know,” Claire admitted.
“Father just called me one day out of the blue and totaled me that’ today’s the day,” Claire explained.
Holmes took another drink, by this time he was about half way throw the bottle.
After a moment he got uneasily to his feet, and walked over to Claire. With his free hand he titled her chin up so she looked him in the eyes. He just looked her in the eyes for a few mintes before leaning in and promly collapsing; Claire was barley able to keep them both standing,
“Men!” Claire muttered as she sat him back down on the bench, and got out her mobile phone.

“Hay Emma, send Moriarty down to the park to help me carry Holmes back,” Claire said as Emma answered the phone.
“He’s on his way,” Emma replied after a moment, “What happened?”
“I’ll tell you when we get up there,” Claire sighed as she ended the call. After letting out another groan of frustration she looked back down at the unconscious detective and smiled, he was sweat when he was asleep. Silently she leaned over and brushed some lose hair out of his eyes.

“There you are,” Came Moriarty’s voice. Claire turned to see him walking over to them.
“Hi,” Claire said holding out her hand, “I prefer to start of on the good foot,” She explained shacking his hand.
“Same we all don’t,” James sniggered looking down at Holmes. Claire nodded as she picked up the bottle.
“I’ll carry him for you then,” James smiled as he picked Holmes up.
“Thank you James,” Claire smiled at him.
“All part of me, starting my new leaf. After all this is a new time,” He grinned as they started back.

The walk back would have been uneventful if Holmes hadn’t chosen to bring his lunch back up all over him self.
“Greet!” Claire sighed as she showed James to the bath room.
“And what am I going to do?” James asked in indignation.
“Well we can’t give him a shower!” Claire pointed out as she gave him something to change him in to.
“I’m so going to use this as black mail latter!” James muttered as he shut the door.
“I have no problem with that,” Claire replied as she walked away to help Emma make up a bed.

“I’m putting him in you’re bed Claire,” Emma explained as Claire entered her room.
“Fine,” Claire sighed as she looked for something to change in to.
“Something wrong my dear?” Emma asked with a grin.
“That and my head hurts,” Claire explained.
“The head I understand but what else?” Emma asked walking over. Claire gave her a sly grin,
“Guess whose now being called ‘my dear’ by a serton drunk detective?” Claire told her.
“really and when did that start?” Emma asked with a big grin.
“One night while we were out in Paris. He jut started calling me it,” Claire explained, but before they could continue James walked looking just as wet as Holmes did.
“I’m not drying him off!” James said putting him in the chair Claire had just vacated.
Claire shock her head and picked up a towel, which she use to towel dry his hair.
“Where’s the camera?” Emma asked as they tired not to snigger at Holmes and his towel dried hair.
“Oh let him be. James has all ready got enough black mail for ages,” Claire grinned as she tucked him in.
“Come on then ladies, there’s a half fully bottle of sampan out there for us now as a job well done,” James smiled as y left the room shutting the doors behind them.


Homes awake the next morning not only in a strange room, but with the migraine to top all migraines. Sitting up slowly he clutched his head and let out a soft groan. Help slowly looked round and recalled the room to be Claire’s bed room. Slower still he got to his feet only to find that he was only wearing a pair of boxers that he knew he had never worn before.

Emma, James and Claire were enjoying a quiet breakfast as they waited for the friend to regain consioness.
“I think I hear now movement,” James whispered all of a sudden. The three sat in silence and liserened, sure enough there were small sounds coming for the bed room. Then all of a sudden the doors were frowned open and there stood Holmes in what would have been a very freighting pose if he hadn’t only been wearing boxers. It was all the three could do not to laugh.
“What the hell happened last night?” Holmes demanded, “What did you do?” He glared at James.
“For once Holmes I am as inercont as a child,” James smiled not looking at Holmes, “I even have a witness who I delive you trust very well,” James smiled putting an arm round Claire’s shoulders.

“Get you’re hands off her!” Holmes snarled as he grabbed Claire’s night gown from the back of the door.
“Touched a nerve did I?” James asked not moving as he watched Holmes storm over to the table.
Holmes placed his hand on the table and lean in close to James,
“Remove you’re hand before I break it!” He growled.
“Holmes,” Claire said getting up and placing a hand on his shoulder.
He straightened up and after a moment turned to face Claire with an inquiring look.
“Let’s see if we can find you something to change into till you clothes are clean,” Claire said tacking his hand and leading him back to her room.
James and Emma shared a look the Emma busted into a hug grin and raped her arms round him,
“That was so sweet!” She smiled.

Holmes sat in silcens as Claire looked for something that would fit him.
“I’m sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me,” Holmes apologized. Claire turned to him then walked over and knelt in front of him she crossed her arms over his knees and rested her chin on them so she could look him in the eyes.
“You don’t have to apologies to me Sherlock, I was just stopping you from doing something you might regret latter,” Claire smiled. Holmes smiled down at her, and then he gently cupped her check in his hand,
“Just do me one favor,” Claire said as he gently brushed her check with his thumb. Holmes nodded before she continued,
“Just lisen to what Moriarty has to say before you judge him,” Claire asked putting her hand over his. Holmes looked her in the eyes again, then smiled softly,
“It’s the least I could do.”

Just then a knock came at the door ant the two sprung apart as Emma stuck her head in.
“Found this,” She said parsing Claire a shirt and some trousers, “You can wear these till me and Claire get back form shopping,” Emma smiled before shutting the door.
Claire turned back to Holmes and parted him the clothes,
“Just lisen to him,” Claire reminded him before she left.

Holmes changed into the black trousers, and a green shirt. He then walked out into the living room where James was waiting two cups of tea waiting. Holmes sighed and remembered what he had said to Claire.
“Well then,” Holmes said as he sat down on the opposite side to Moriarty.
James smiled as he offered Holmes a cup of tea, which he acppected with a nodded.
“Well then Moriarty I’m all ears,” Holmes said as he got comefter ball.
“Thank you,” James replied.

“As I’m sure you are all to assure of this is a whole new time for us Holmes,” James started.
“What gave it away?” Holmes grinned.
“A number of things, but that’s getting of the point.”
“There’s a point?” Holmes sniggered.
James glared at Holmes.
“Sorry,” Holmes said looking down.
“Thank you now the point,”
“Yes the point,”
“When did you get so patronizing?” James asked folding his arms.
“I think Claire’s been rubbing off on me,” Holmes replied shacking his head,” But now your point,” Holmes said indicating for James to continue.
“Been speeding a lot of time with Miss Parris have we?” James asked with a smile.
“Recall what I total you at the breakfast table?” Holmes asked with a glare.
“oviusly enough time to call her by her first name and to defend her over every advance some one else makes,” James grinned.

“Now who’s getting of the point?”
James nodded,
“Sorry a conversation for a latter date,” James agreed.
“My point deer Holmes is that as this is a new day and ages and thus I am turning over a new leaf.”
Holmes lifted an eyebrow.
“A new leaf?” He asked.
“Yes a new leaf,” James nodded.
“And what does this leaf mean?” Holmes asked.
“Well I hope a chances for us to at least try to get along? And a new way of having fun,” James smiled.
“You have me intrigued Moriarty,” Holmes admitted.
“It’s a new challenge for my self. I’ll steal but only for the most well graded places and then once they know its been stolen ill reuter the item in the same way so know one will know and no really harm is done,” James grinned oviuisly prad of himself.
“And why tell me?” Holmes asked.
“As a token of trust Holmes, trust something that this time I hope for us to have,” James explained.
Holmes nodded,
“We shell see James we shell see. Now were, are thous bloody head ach pills?” Holmes asked clutching his head and stared to look round for them.
“These ones?” James asked holding up the pills.
“Why thank you,” Sherlock smiled tacking the container.
“One small steep at a time, now what can you tell me about Miss Levey she does intrigue me so?” James asked.
Holmes raised an eyebrow,
“Not a lot.”


Emma and Claire returned around latter with Watson being used as a pack horse for all the Christmases shopping.
“how much did you want to buy?” Holmes asked looking at all the bag’s.
“You may have failed to notice Holmes but Christmas’s is round the corner as well as a serton some one’s birthday,” Emma told him as she gave Claire a stern look.
“I can’t help when I was born!” Claire replied as she carried her bags in to her room.
A few minutes latter James burst out with,
“PARTY!”
“I can hear you!” Claire called back.
Holmes stood there and looked like he had just been hit with a car.
“Holmes you didn’t forget did you?” James asked with a sly grin.
“Err can you forget something that was never said to you?” He asked sounding a little nevus.
“No but you can still get blamed for it,” Watson told him.

“Your not picking on Holmes again are you?” Claire asked coming out of her room.
“No just laughing over the fact that he hasn’t got you anything,” James smiled.
“Well James you haven’t got Claire anything as well,” Emma pointed out.
That made him shut up,
“Hu!” Holmes said with a smile then stopped, “God I have been spending to much time with you,” He said as Claire looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
Claire just shock her head as she pasted him his clean clothes,
“Thank you,” Holmes smiled.
Watson steep forward now,
“We could always stop off on the way home,” He suggested.
“Good idea Watson and James you’re coming to, there is no way I’m leaving you here alone jet!” Holmes told him as he grabbed his coat.
“You offering me some where to stay them?” he asked.
Holmes glared at him them caught Claire waging her finger at him over James shoulder. Sherlock just rolled his head and sighed,
“Just get you coat.” Claire smiled her approve at him coursing Emma to snigger at her friend and get a cloth thrown at her.
“Hay!” Emma cried at Claire but Claire just grinned.

“Well then my dear looks like I shell have to leave you for now but do not worry we shell meat again,” James smiled as he kissed Emma’s hand. Emma blushed at James,
“I’m sure we will,” She replied.
Sherlock and Watson turned away from this only for Holmes eyes to meat Claire’s who was standing next to him now.
“Ill let you know next time there’s a case,” Holmes smiled at her.
“I know you will Sherlock,” Claire replied with a grin.
“We ready to go?” Watson asked looking at his watch.
“Ready,” James smiled following him out the door.
“Good by my dear,” Holmes whispered before leaving.
Claire shut the door and turned with a big smile on her face to Emma who also had a big grin on her face. Both sniggered at each other.

hay its easy
go to storeis
then new story
accpetd guid lines and easy from there if i recall right ^^

Claire, could you write down how to post up new fics on ff.net please? I was serious when i said I couldn't remember ^^U

Claiiiirreeeee!
How do you post new fics up on Fanfiction.net again?
I can't remember, and it doesn't tell you how! (so I'm not being a dumb blonde XP)

No linky - can't be bothered ^^U

“Sorry there mates!” one giggled obviously drink.
Sanji just sneered after them as they walked away.
“Sanji-aniki?” Lou said nervously.
Sanji finished his cigarette then turned to Zoro,
“Oi! Asshat!” The swordsman turned to the Cook, obviously annoyed. “My sister. Take her back to the ship and tell the crew not to wait up for me,” Sanji told him in a bored, yet strange tone. Zoro gave the cook a look. Sanji ran a hand through his hair.
“I…” Sanji hissed in frustration. “I left my wallet at the last bar okay!?”
Zoro nodded in unspoken understanding as Sanji headed off in the same direction as the pirates.
Zoro looked down at Lou who was looking worried as her brother walked off.
“Don’t worry about him. He’s a big boy now,” Zoro said as he walked off.
“And anyway, it’s his own business what he gets up to on his own, he doesn’t need us to hold his hand finding his wallet does he?”
Lou nodded, understanding Zoro’s silent appreciation of Sanji’s need for privacy and followed the swordsman.

They walked back to the ship in silence.
“So you going to explain why those guys got the Sous- chef got so riled up?” Zoro asked all of a sudden.
Lou stopped and looked at him,
“Has my brother never spoken of Azure to you?”
“Should he have?” Zoro asked scratching his cheek.
“I guess he decide not to then,” Lou said crossing her arms and continuing to walk.
“Hey wait, talk to me! Who’s this Azure? I’ve heard you and the love cook talking about her before,” Zoro replied as he walked with her.
Lou smiled over her shoulder at him. Zoro blushed a little.
“As you know, Nii-san and I grew up on the Baratie,”
Zoro nodded and she continued,
“Well Azure was… a friend. She would often visit and we soon became really close. Kinda like family.”
“And what’s this got to do with the cook getting pissed?”
“I’m getting there Zoro!” Lou cried as she hit him on the head.
“Hey!”
“Then shut up and listen!”
Zoro just crossed his arms. A frown forming on his face.
“Well as time passed Sanji and Azure got even closer. You remember that photograph?”
Zoro nodded as he recalled the image of Lou in a dress. He just about managed to control his face from going an interesting shade of pink.
“Well that was Sanji-aniki and Azure’s wedding,”
Zoro nearly had a heart attack.
“What the?! The shitty cooks got a ball and chain?” He laughed out loud, and then stopped.
Lou sniggered but fell silent quickly,
“Yea, except just after they were married a pirate captain by the name of Chairo kidnapped Azure,” Zoro was silent now.
“We both vowed that we would save her from him. Shortly after that I left to go looking for her and that pretty much brings us up to today,” Lou said wiping her eyes.
Zoro reached out and caught her chin, making her look up at him,
“Stop crying and be strong. If I’ve learnt any thing we’ll being on this crew it’s this. We all stick together and help each other out. So trust me when I say this. We’ll get her back for both of you. We’re nakama.” He added, a brief look of awkwardness crossing his features.
Lou smiled at him,
“Thank you Zoro.”
“Your welcome, now let’s get back to the ship, I need my sleep,” Zoro said walking off, with Lou following close behind.


It was a few hours after midnight that Sanji finally found the ship he was looking for. The brown flag, so encrusted with dirt, hung limply from the top of the mast. He shook his head in disgust. So it appeared that nothing had changed. They were still the same god-forsaken-dirt-ridden scoundrels that had made off with his beloved.
He smirked as he silently approached the ship, it was time for some sweet revenge, a dish he knew all too well how to dish up and serve. A dish best served cold.

“Umm, Zoro?” Lou poked the sleeping swordsman. He grunted and rolled over.
“Oi Asshat!” She growled, in what she hoped sounded like her brother’s voice.
“What is it Magic eyebrow?” He groaned rolling back and blinking sleepily at Lou.
“Aniki isn’t back yet.”
“Bloody!” Zoro held back a series of colourful expletives and smacked Lou on the side of her head.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?” Lou silently screeched at him, punching him in the forehead.
“Did I not tell you that Sanji is perfectly capable of caring for his own blondie girly ass?!?” He hissed, pulling her hair. She grabbed his earring and hauled him closer to her, so that they were nose to nose.
“Listen here stupid! I am going to find my brother, because I need to see if he has done something idiotic. I don’t want him to do anything he’ll regret!”
“Sanji rarely does anything he regrets. And when he does, he makes sure that he can fix it before he screws up. As much as I hate to say it you have an incredible man as your brother! He’s smart, well thought out and strong!”
“I know that!” She slapped his hand away from her hair. He snapped his head back and slammed it into hers. She fell back, landing ungracefully on her behind.
“Asshole!” She jeered.
“If you know all this then let me go back to sleep and get in this hammock before I really decide to cream your ass!”

________________________________________________

Sanji stood on the deck of the ship, his black trousers glistening dark red, reflecting the faint and eerie light from the lamps of the decaying ship.
He had returned her to the safety of the going merry and had returned to add the final garnish to his dish. There was no reason for his beloved to watch his vengeful madness. He had not wanted her to watch him kill in fury, or spill blood before her in her name. He breathed slowly, revelling in the man’s torment and anger.
Captain Chairo knelt before him, battered and bloody, awaiting the final blow. Sanji allowed the man to marinate in his own fear for a while before turning away slowly and stalking off the ship. As he reached the solid ground of the port he kicked away the boarding plank.
“So you think this is the end do you Redleg? DO YA?” The crippled man roared, blood spilling out of his lips in a mad burst of foam and insanity. The cook turned.
He slowly took out his last cigarette and lit it. He puffed on it lazily and gave the man a brief, satisfied smirk.
“I do believe it is the end. If you die now, then that is a small mercy. If you survive? Then you have to live with your sins, the deaths of your crew and the failure that you are. Goodbye.” And Sanji turned, removing the cigarette from his lips and flicking it behind him. It flew upwards and high, spinning gracefully, in an almost delicate way before it hit the deck in front of the brown clad man.
The defeated captain watched with a sort of detached horror as the small stick ignited a puddle of rum and spilt gunpowder, catching alight and burning intensely.
Chairo shielded his eyes but looked upwards to see that the blonde figure had stopped and was watching the inferno with an almost frightening intensity. He squinted, ignoring the flames that licked his shattered limbs.
The man who he had met on the baratie all those years ago had changed. He was stronger, wiser and most of all, he had become merciless in his vengeance. Chairo smirked slightly, he hadn’t believed in the karma his mother had so diligently tried to teach him, but now he did, as he stared into the eye of the man watching his final moments with gruesome satisfaction.


¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_________________________________________________________________


Nami was on watch that night and had decided to take a few unfinished maps up to the crow’s nest for something else to pass the time. It was because of this that she had not noticed that the cook returned quietly with a companion and left quickly, leaving the unknown individual behind.

_________________________________________________________________

The silver haired woman quietly made her way down into the mens bunkroom, quickly finding her previous escorts clothing chest and removing a pair of trousers and a silk shirt. With these under her arm she made her way to the bathroom to clean up.
Upon cleaning up she made her way to the kitchen, where she had been told she could find herself something to eat.
Nami looked up from her maps to survey the area below the ship, she glanced over to the galley where she thought she heard the kettle finish boiling with an irritating whistle. She fancied some tea, the night was getting rather cold after all.

Entering the galley Nami found herself face to face with someone she had never met before, however, she looked strangely familiar. It was only when she noticed that the clothes the woman was wearing were the ship’s cook’s that she realised what was recognizable about her.
“What are you doing here?” Nami growled, pulling out her Staff, the blue eyed visitor smiled disarmingly.
“My name is Azure, and I was told to remain here by my husband.”
“Your husband?” Nami became increasingly unsure of the situation.
“Yes, he should be back within the hour. He said you were good people, and that I was safe here.” She smiled again, watching the navigator shift with uncertainty.
“I’ll sit her and you can go and awaken the captain yes? I promise that I mean no harm.” Nami, seeing her opportunity sprang out of the galley ran down onto the lower deck and burst through the trap door under the mast.

And I'll do the rest later...

http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/view/79504/

cuz it's evil XD

got mum to spell cheeck first chapter for me so r/my potc fick should be up now. its tittle is,
Pirates of the Caribbean, the Bleeding Ruby.

hope u like it and tell me what you think of the summary.

This is the start of that fic I'm doing for fanfiction.net
I can't quite remember how to post on FF.net, could you enlighten me again pwease O.O?


( Mr.Spanky...or not as the case may be )

Mean while up at the wheel of the ship Davy Jones was half heartedly lessening to his fisted mate whine about not being able to give the ‘hoer’ a good whipping. “I’m out of tobacco again which means its time for you to shut up, stopping using that world and hurry up and get us to Tortuga!” Jones sighed putting his pip away. Noticing the ‘I’m going to kill you if you don’t’ tone he scuttled off to do as he was told. Davy Jones sighed he needed his tobacco before he suffered another migraine which with this crew was going to be impossible. Little did he know that that’s was where the Bleeding Ruby and crew were all ready. “Captain who are we looking for?” Rodger asked as they walked round the port. “I’ll know them when I see em so wait!" captain Levey replied looking round. Then a moment latter she smiled, “This way,” Rodger sighed and followed his captain. She lead them over to a table were a ground of four were sitting, one lady and three men. “To what do we ow this pleaser Lass?” The older man asked. “You know very well Barbossa what I’m doing here,” Levey smiled sitting down. “Aye that I do, but fisted introductions are in horder. You know Mr Gibbs. Well this be Will turned and Elizabeth swam,” Barbossa introduced them. “Nice to meat you, Not sure if my brother ever spoke of me but I’m Jack Sparrows sister Captain Emma Levey,” She smiled them turned to Barbossa with a sawer look. “Aye lass to biasness,” Barbossa nodded, well the others still got there head round this new fact. “Aye to biasness,” Levey nodded as well. “You’ve spoken to Tia Dalma?” Barbossa asked leaning forward. “Of course I did even got a jar of dirt,” She smiled holding up said jar. Will raise an eyebrow as he remembered the jar jack had. “She told me to find you and jacks crew to find what I want,” Levey explained. Barbossa nodded “She told me to expected you but I thought that the bloody Rose would you be with you as well, where is the lass?” Barbossa asked. “Arr well she’s… err… enjoying a new experiences,” Captain Levey smiled. Roger rolled his eyes. Barbossa laughed out loud causing the others to look at him wired. “You sold your firsted mate to him just like your brother!” He laughed as she hung her head. “No she wanted to go…”
“Wait you left your First mate with Davy Jones?” Will asked. Levey looked at Will clossly, “You look like your father boy,” she smiled. “Not anymore,” Will replayed. “Don’t worry bout him Rose will look after him for now I’m sure of it but we’re getting off the track. I need the heart to get her, my brother and my ship back!” Levey explained. “Your ship? But the pearl was jacks ship?” Elizabeth said looking confused. “Jack be the captain but the lass be its maker,” Barbossa explained. “That reminds me,” Levey said before hitting him over the head,” that’s for tacking the ship, and then blowing holes in it!” “Pirate,” He smiled. “So what’s your plane?” Captain Levey asked. “We were just talking about that when you arrived,” Barbossa relied. “Well then fill the grieving sister in,” Captain Levey smiled leaning forward all ears. “We de going after Lord Beckett who we guess Norrington gave the heart to,” Elizabeth told her. “So it’s a Sparrow plan? We make it up as we go?” Levey smiled apparently happy with this. ‘Aye expected as with all things lass I be wanting some insurance,” Barbossa smiled. “What do you be wanting from the bounty? The chance to kill Jack your self?” She asked. “That would be a fine thing or the pearl thought Sparrow choose which in the end,” He told her. “And what do you get out of this vouige?” Levey asked. Will and Elizabeth sheared a look before will replied, “We ow jack this,” he said shortly. Both captains sheared a knowing look, before nodding in agreement. “AS all ways Barbossa I regretidly have to work with your to get what I want,” “Aye but I do love working on your ship it’s of a higher grade then the pearl,” Barbossa smiled getting to his feet. “Just remember that it is my ship and thus I am the captain of the bleeding Ruby!” she told him getting to her feet as well.


thats the end of chapter 2 with 3 and 4 all ready wrighten each 1000 words or over if you want them up as well one at a time ocfuresthem emil or contacted me or wait till vacation time.
ps tell me what u think night night.

so good! I wonder what I can come up with to post to you ^^ hmmm....
oh yes! Here is how you linkage ^^

type out <*lj-cut text="write the title here"> then type what you want here then finish with <*/lj-cut>
Remember to take out the * though otherwise it won't work.

see?
(  ooohhh, shiny! )

some more one pices for you.



“Smart one,” Zolo said as they watched him go.
Loo shrugged as she leaned asgainted him,
“Just got to know how to handle people,” Loo yawned.
Zolo tensed and blushed as she snuggled up to him.
“Night, night,” she muttered before nodding off.
Zolo just sat there frozen as she used him as a pillow.
Nami walked pasted a few minutes latter to see the pair asleep. She just smiled and cheeked that the cook wasn’t any where near to destroy the peace, then continued going you work on her maps.

The pair was ruldly awoken by Sanji as he rung the dinner bell right in Zolo’s era.
“Arr, what the hell do you want!” Zolo gowned cleaning out his ringing era. Loo gowned and looked up at her brother who was still pissed with her.
“It’s dinner time so move before Luffy gets it all!” he growled walking away.
Loo and Zolo shared a warred look as they followed him.

Sanji continued to be pissed of with Zolo well into the next couple of days.
“Sanji would you please stop it!” Loo whined as she washed the hall of his kitchen under big brothers ever watchfully gases.
“Stop what?” Sanji replied in his toneless voice.
“That you acting like a little baby!” Loo told him.
“Hump!” was Sanji only reply as he tasted his soup.
Loo let out a grown of frustration which she continued to tack out on the kitchen floor.
“You’re the one who allowed HIM to touch you!” Sanji replied.
“For Kami’s sack Sanji! You’re acting just like papa Zeff! I’m a big girly now and I can loo after my self,” Loo replied.
“Well what would you expected Loo. You’re my little sister of cores I’m going to be protective over you especially when there’s a man involved,” Sanji told her.
The rested of the crew shared a worried look at the kitchen then at Zolo who was trying to pretend that he couldn’t hear the sidling.

“Why’s Sanji so annoyed with you Zolo?” Chopper asked.
Zolo opened an eye and looked at the little reindeer,
“Cause he’s worried that I’m going to make a move on his little sister,” Zolo replied.
“And are you?” he asked in his inersont little way.
Zolo blushed again. He could senses every one else liserning to them.
Zolo shrugged,
“How the hell, am I supposed to know what will happen?”
Chopper just shrugged and went to make some more run balls.
“URR Sanji!” Loo almost yelled.
“Loo watch what you do with that sponged this is a kitchen!” Came Sanji’s panicked reply.
Zolo shut his eyes and wondered when the hell things would quiet down again.

The door to the kitchen opened and the pair came out and walked to the back of the ship. The rested of the crew worried still followed them. When they got there they found the two having some sort of reselling match.
“Err, would one of you spear a moment to explain?” Nami asked.
“When we had a argument on the Barate we would have a small fight out back so Zeff wouldn’t catch us and tell us off for disrupting his ship,” Sanji explained as Loo ruffled up his hair.
“Oh! Loo you’ve never acted like a lady, have you?”
“Nope,” Loo replied as Sanji turned on her.

Constructress just smiled to her self as she looked at the six top league members. She had all ready explained her idea to them.
“And you meant no really harm to the league?” Wonder woman asked.
“None at all. And all my work was meant for the greeter good,” she smiled inersontly.
The group discussed it amongst them selves. A few minutes latter Superman got to his feet.
“In light of the evidence you have given we are prepared to let you go as long as you promise never to tack any of are members again with out there consent,” Superman told her.
“Why thank you.”
“We would also like to give you a place on are team,” he tried.
Constructress raised an eyebrow at him,
“As nice as that sounds I’m going to have to bacilli. I prefer to work solo,” she smiled getting out of her seat.
“In that cause I’m going to have to get serton members of are team to check up on you every so often,” he old her as she walked away.
“Fine do what every, you want,” Constructress shrugged as she left the room.

“They let you off then,” Angle smiled as she played with the radix cube.
“Did you really think they wouldn’t?” Constructress smiled as she walked pasted her. Angle sniggered,
“Well if you ever want some company just give me a call I’m sure to get bored up here any way,” Angle told her as she walked over to the teleporter.
“I’ll bear that in mined but right now you have an angry Martian to deal with,” Constructress sniggered as she disrepaired.
Angle slowly turned her head round then up,
“Hello J’onn,” She smiled trying to hidded the toy.
“I do delve that is my chair and my radix crude!” he said crossing his arms and looking a little pived at her.
“Share and share alike, remember the Oreos?” She smiled at him.
“You drive a hard bargain!” J’onn sighed as he crossed his legs and levitated next to her.
“I know,” Angle smiled as she leaned over and patted him on the head.
J’onn gave her a funny look.


Life with the league continued with its ups and downs but nothing major for a few months. Flash and Angle continued to course mayhem on the tower as well. Most of the members where learning to ignore the pair but superman still found that they drove him to his wits ends more often to nougat. Superman let out sigh of frustration as Flash, flash placed him jet again.
“Flash what the hell are you doing?” He sighed.
“Err atcherly I’m trying to find Angle she seams to have disrepair off of the Tower,” Flash told him stopping at his side.
“Did you ask J’onn he seams to have a, radar for her at the moment!” Superman replied looking over some work.
“Good Idea!” Flash smiled as he disrepair, and repaired next to J’onn who had reclaimed his seat.
“Yes Flash?” J’onn asked looking at the red clad hero.
“Have you seen Angle?”
“Why are you looking for her fisted?” J’onn asked sounding worried.
“We we’re going to a party to night I just wanted to remained her,” Flash smiled at him.
J’onn raised an eyebrow. A second later his eyes flashed as he searched his mental link for her.

“Hu?” Angle said as she felt some one touch her mined.
“-Flash whish to reminded you about this ‘party’ your going to tonight,” J’onn’s voice told her in her head.
“-couldn’t he find me?” she smiled as she floated back down on to the work deck.
“Well he can’t fly!” J’onn smiled as Angle walked over to the pair.
Angle just shock her head and turned to Flash who was smiling. He head up three tickets.
“You got the tickets?” Angle smiled. Flash nodded,
“Three of them.”
“So who’s the thread on for?” Angle asked rising an eyebrow.
“Err any one who wants to come,” he smiled.
“What type of party is it you’re going to?” J’onn asked, snatching the tickets.

“It’s a music gig,” Flash grinned. He was then struck by a sudden inspiration,
“Hay J’onn your always saying you want to get closer to humanity, well now’s your chance. Me and Angle can show you some of are life,” Flash smiled at him.
“Yea. Come J’onn it’ll be fun,” Angle smiled as well.
J’onn fought it over for a few minutes,
“I want be imposing on your fun?” He asked.
“Of course not J’onn if any thing it will be even more fun,” Angle smiled.
“As long as I’m not rerunning your fun,” J’onn replied nodding.
“Yay,” Flash cried as he started to run around in excitement.

“You call this a party?” J’onn asked Angle as she returned with their drinks.
“Yea. It’s just a lode of people out for some fun,” Angle smiled.
J’onn nodded as he sipped his drink.
“Were did Flash go?”
“Were did Wally go? Wally is over there doing what he does bested,” Kureaa smiled nodding towards the red head, who was right in the middle of the fun.
J’onn sniggered,
“Is there an actual point to this Kureaa?” J’onn asked using her really name.
Kureaa sighed then graded his hand,
“The bested way to learn is to experience!” Kureaa told him as she dragged a now worried looking J’onn on to the dance floor.
J’onn stood still as Kureaa started to dance,
“Just go with the music John!” Wally called as he danced with about five different girls. Nervously J’onn started to dance tacking hints form people around him.
Mean while sitting in a dark corner some one was watching the group of people on the floor. His face formed a scowl as his eyes fell on Kureaa. He put out his fag, and then rose to his feet looking very annoyed with some thing. He clicked his fingers and five people followed him out of the club and head off to tell some one some very important news.

“You’re a natural John,” Kureaa smiled as the three left the club.
“I had a lot of help,” He admitted.
“Hay you done well for your fisted time right Kureaa?” Wally asked.
Kureaa didn’t reply as she had stopped walking.
“What’s wrong?” Wally asked.
J’onn mean while was watching as a group of man headed in there direction.

“Long time no see Kureaa,” one sneered as they reached them.
Kureaa didn’t reply but stood close to Wally and J’onn.
“Are not even going to speak to us now are we. Now that’s not very polite to your old crew,” anougther grinned.
“Get lost. I left you lot years ago,” Kureaa snarled walking pasted them.
One went to through a punch at her but stopped as J’onn stood in front of him.
“Now that’s not very nice!” he said in his carm voice, “so in less you have some thing important to say get going,” J’onn advised them.
“Just watch your back Kureaa you never know who’s watching you these days!” the fisted one smiled as they left.

“You ok?” Wally asked as Kureaa raped her arms round herself.
“Yea lets just get going. I don’t want to hang around her to long,” she replied walking off. Wally and J’onn shared a worried look.
“Who were they?” J’onn asked walking next to her.
“Some little shits who I should never have got involved with,” She sighed.
“Want to talk about it?” J’onn asked sensing there was something more to it then that.
“There part of the pasted that I’ll like to leave in the pasted,” Kureaa explained.
“Hay come on the nights still young,” Wally smiled putting am arm round her.
Kureaa smiled,
“What else did you have planed then?” She asked as the three walked off into the night.


The next day J’onn was sent down to check on Constructress.
“Would you kindly not do that with out a little warning!” she yelled at him as he fazed in to the lad room and scaring all of it’s occupies.
“Sorry,” he muttered hiding behind his cloak.
She servased him for a moment then sighed,
“Come on tell me what’s wrong,” Constructress smiled bragging him off to her offices.
J’onn just allowed her to bragging him off.

“Talk to me then,” she smiled at him from behind her desk.
J’onn thought about what to say for a moment.
“Some things wrong with Angle but she’s not talking to any one about it,” J’onn explained.
“What makes you think some things wrong?” Constructress asked poring the tea.
“Lasted night we were out with flash when some men started on her. They were talking about her pasted and since then she’s been down,” J’onn explained.
“You’re the mind ready J’onn not me!” she pointed out.
“That I may be but, I taught her how to have strong barriers. Plus it would be immoral of me to read her mind to find out some thing she doesn’t want to tell me,” J’onn replied looking down.

Constructress sighed and hit her head on the desk,
“Men!” she sighed looking up at him.
J’onn looked puzzled at her.
“J’onn all I can do is talk to her but I suggested that if you’re this worried about her asked her you’re self! After all if this boned is as strong as you claim then I’m sure she’ll tell you if you really need to know,” she explained drinking her tea.
J’onn thought over what she had said then muttered,
“Women, all ways so complicated!”
“Nothings ever easy in this life J’onn. Now weren’t you here to insure that I’m being a good little girl?”
“I’ll trust you,” J’onn sighed getting to his feet.
“Thank you J’onn and do pars my regards on to Angle and Bats,” Constructress smiled as he left.

here you go next piece of one piece for you.

The crew continued to party long in to the night with Zolo, Sanji and Loo the lasted to leave. The three were turning down a side rood when a group of pirates wearing brown shirts walked in to them.
“Sorry there mates,” one giggled ovusly drunk.
Sanji just gave them a really dirty look as they walked away.
“Sanji-aniki?” Loo said nervously.
Sanji finished his fag then turned to Zolo,
“Marimo tack her back to the ship and tell the crew not to wait up for me,” Sanji told him in his cross voice.
Zolo nodded as Sanji head off after the pirates.
Zolo looked down at Loo who was looking worried as her brother walked off.
“Don’t worry about him. He’s a big boy now,” Zolo said as he walked off.
Loo nodded and followed the swords man.

They walked back to the ship in silence.
“So you going to explain why those guys got the Sous- chef got so pissed with those guys?” Zolo asked all of a sudden.
Loo stopped and looked at him,
“Has my brother never spoken of Azure to you?”
“Should he have?” Zolo asked scrating his cheek.
“I guess he decide not to then,” Loo said crossing her arms and continuing to walk.
“Hay wait, talk to me who is this Azure. I’ve heard you and the love cook talking about her before,” Zolo replied as he walked with her.

Loo smiled over her shoulder at him. Zolo blushed a little.
“as you know me and Sanji-aniki grow up on the Barate,”
Zolo nodded and she continued,
“Well Azure was, are friend. She would often visit and we soon became really close.”
“And waits this got to do with the cook getting pissed?”
“I’m getting there Zolo!” Loo cried as she hit him on the head.
“Hay!”
“Then shut up and lessen!”
Zolo just crossed his arms.
“Well as time pasted Sanji and Azure got even closer. You rember that photograph?”
Zolo nodded as he recalled the image of Loo in a dress.
“Well that was Sanji-aniki and Azure’s wedding,”
Zolo nearly had a heart attack.
“What the! The shity cooks got a ball and chain?”
Loo sniggered but fell silent quickly,
“Yea, accepted just after they were married a prate captain named Chairo kidnapped Azure,” Zolo was silent now.
“We doth vouled that we would save her from him. Shortly after that I left to go looking for her and that pretty much brings us up to today,” Loo said whipping her eyes.
Zolo held her chin and made her look up at him,
“Stop crying and be strong. If I’ve learnt any thing we’ll being on this crew it’s this. We all stick together and help each other out. So trust me when I say this. We’ll get her back for both of you.”
Loo smiled at him,
“Thank you Zolo.”
“Your welcome, now let’s get back to the ship, I needed my sleep,” Zolo said walking off, with loo following close behind.

Sanji returned in the early hours of the morning, and smocking heaverly.
“Did you learn any thing?” loo asked as he entered the kitchen to find Loo and a hot cup of tea waiting for him.
“She’s still alive,” he told her sitting down.
“That’s good but where is she?” Loo asked.
“There holding her on an island a little way away from her,” Sanji told her as he breathed deeply.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Came Luffy’s voice. Sanji turned to the door where the rested of the crew was standing.
Luffy grinned at him,
“She’s your wife Sanji that makes her one of are nakamai,” Luffy explained.
Sanji turned to loo how grinned,
“They beat it out of me,” She told him as she hide behind Zoro.
“Don’t think I’m going to protected you,” Zoro told her.
“Maybe not but you’re a good shield against his kicks,” Loo grinned.

“So what island is she on then Sanji?” Nami asked getting out a map.
“That one,” He said pointing to a small island, “it’s called Chairo island aftered the basted parities who occupy it,” Sanji explained.
“It’s a few weeks sailing from here. We’ll have to stock up on supplies from here before we set of,” Nami said.
Sanji nodded.
“You two can get the medical supplies as your most likely to need them!” Nami continued pointing at Zoro and Loo.
“Hay!”
“What gives you that idea?” Loo asked crossing her arms.
“Thos scares on your wasted!” Nami said pointing to the two scares which raped round her.
“They were a lucky shot all right!” Loo growled walking off.

Loo continued to steam for the rest of the night while she was on watch.
“You shouldn’t let her get to you like that,” came Zoro’s voice as he joined her in the crews nested.
“Hu I know. I’m just thinking about what I’m going to do to those little shits when we get there,” Loo told him.
“As good as revenge is some times, you shouldn’t let it consume you,” Zoro replied looking up at the stars.
“I know that Zoro, but it’s the only really thing that’s been keeping me going,”
“You’ve given a lot up for the shity cook.”
“Sanji was all ways there for me when I was little and now I’m paying him back,” Loo smiled.
“Answer me this. What’s next for you after we get Azure back?”
“I’ll answer if you answer me this. Why do you care?”
Zoro blushed a little,
“It was just a question,” he muttered.

“After we get Azure back I’m going to continue working on becoming the bested fighter I can be,”
Loo smiled at him.
“Good luck with that,” Zoro smiled back.
“What’s your goal in life then swordsman?”
Zoro didn’t answer her straight away,
“I’m keeping a promise to a friend,” was all he said before he left.
“Ow mister shady,” loo giggled under her breath after him.

Zoro was heading back to the haemic room when a foot smashed the wall in front of him.
“Ok what did I do this time?” Zoro asked turning to face Sanji.
“Got a favour to ask of you,” Sanji said as he smocked.
Zoro looked in triaged,
“You want me to kill my self?”
“No Marimo-head………… I want you to keep a look out for Loo during the fight for me,” Sanji asked.
Zoro though it over for a moment then looked back at Loo.
“The power of siblings,” Zoro smiled, “I’ll keep an eye on her for you,” Zoro said as he walked away.

look at this one for me its not much but im on one of my funny little things again. its the start of a back to the futcher fic, please tell me what you think and if you want to be in it.

Doc smiled as he and Einstein walked down the street. The Doc was tacking a much needed break from work and buying some much needed supplies. He was so deep in though that he walked straight in to some one.
“Oh I’m so sorry, here let me help you up,” Doc said offering the young lady a hand.
“No it was my thought. I should have been looking where I was going,” She smiled up at him as Doc helped her to her feet.

She dusted her self of then offered him her hand,
“I’m Claire Johns, nice to bump in to you,” Claire smiled.
“Doctor Emmett brown,” Doc smiled back, shacking her hand, “and this is Einstein,” Doc told her as Einy jumped up at her.
“It’s nice to meat you both.”
The Doc was about to struck up a conversation when someone through some thing at him.
“Ouch!” the Doc said rubbing his head and looking round for the culprit only to find Biff Tannen. Biff of cores was laughing his head off with his friends.

The doc was about to say something when some thing whizzed pasted him and struck Biff right on the head.

And now, for a nakama fic ^^

Another little treasure that came to me in the small hours of the morning!

Written in Sanji’s Point of View with an insight into the other straw hats…
(Haven’t yet acquired Robin as a crew member yet, and vivi’s still there…)

Nakamaship, the joy of a little time alone with each of your friends.

I had only recently discovered how exhausting it was to watch and distract our beloved captain when both the long nose and the swordsman were busy. Hard as it is to believe that either of them would have anything to do with their time (except sleep, in the seaweed heads case, or lie, in the sharpshooters) but apparently this was the case.

The said captain was clinging to my apron strings and all of a sudden I felt strangely maternal, I think I should get an apron that buttons up at the back… then I reconsider, it’s actually quite endearing to have the smaller man looking up at me with those wide black eyes and long eyelashes, even though he’s pleading for the cake I’m currently making.

So I had found myself a way to get the sharpshooter to be busy at another time, early morning. He had complained at first but I had explained that it was just after his watch in the morning, and seeing as he was already awake he could spend those two hours before breakfast making whatever it is he makes. He nodded, intermittently adding his own little snippets of ‘oh yes I was thinking of doing that’ or ‘I always like to start the day with a challenge!’

In order to change the swordsman’s time I had to do nothing. This was, and I felt rather smug at this point, purely because I had meddled with Usopp’s timetable, I didn’t have to meddle with Zoro’s. I smiled openly over the scrambled eggs I was making for Nami-sans breakfast; I could be quite scheming sometimes. Old Zeff could always, without fail, see through each and every one of them though. This had made me laugh so loud that the captain had come running in, asking repeatedly what was so funny and could he tell the joke to Vivi, she was smiling more and more each day but that clearly wasn’t enough for the rubber-man. I had carefully transferred the eggs onto the plate and laughed all the more at the expression on his face.

It’s at times like these that I realise I’m truly happy that I’m here with all of them. Yes Patty and Carne could be good fun once in a while, but we had spent more time at each others throats than being social. It was actually only the old man that I had actually got on with and felt comfortable enough with. Here I find myself quicker to smile or laugh at the antics of my crew mates, no my nakama.

Anyway, got a bit side-tracked. I think I’m going soft, with all these friends around. (Not that I mind, or care. I can still be just as dangerous when it comes to their safety, even more so if they need me.) Speaking of soft I made a recent discovery, or perhaps not so recent. It was the other month or so when I was still tired after playing with Luffy all afternoon, we had been swimming by the way, and it seems that Luffy enjoys swimming as much as I do. This is nice actually, as I don’t like swimming alone, it’s less fun. I have to admit, it is a lot more tiring swimming whilst holding up Luffy but I’ll never begrudge him for this.

See how distracting these nakama of mine are? I can’t even get on with talking about my discovery without remembering something about them. Right. I found a bean bag! Yes, I know it’s ‘just a bean bag’ but this is one of the most comfortable things in existence. No really. So now I sneak into Nami’s Cartography room just after breakfast is finished, pull out the bean bag and nap for a good two hours. What’s wrong with a little nap eh? After all, it’s hard work being the cook for the bottomless pits that are the men on this ship. So down I snuggle, and I’m not ashamed of snuggling, it’s a very satisfying thing to do, and drop right off. I know the bean bag is huge and should be enough to seat a normal person but I sort of half sit half drape myself over it. I kind of assume a seated but reclining position and then kick off my shoes and rest my feet on a strategically placed cushion (purloined from Nami’s favourite chair, I’m not picky) and then drop right off. I know I’m repeating myself but it’s really that easy to fall unconscious in that big squishy bag.

I occasionally wake up with a companion. This occurs frequently, and I’ve discovered a pattern. On Mondays it is Luffy, who always stays until I wake up. The first thing he says is that he wants to know what is for lunch. But he does wait for awhile before saying this. He’ll sit there and smile at me, with this tired and slightly dozy look on his face. I found that a few days later the others started joining me on the bag. On Tuesdays it would be Usopp, on Wednesdays it would be Chopper and Thursdays it would be Vivi. It pleased me greatly that Vivi had decided to accompany me on my mid-morning nap, even if I wasn’t conscious for it. It had taken Zoro quite a while before he decided to join me, and even though we always woke up together we never argued afterwards. I didn’t mind at all. It was a nice change a pace with the swordsman. I don’t like being at odds with the man all the time. He’s a surprisingly nice guy once I bothered to stop yelling at him for yelling at me (we never found out who started it and we couldn’t care less).

The last to join me for the mid-morning nap was Nami. I suppose she was reluctant to nap with me, seeing as I had flirted shamelessly with her at every available opportunity. It was a few days after I had eased up on the gushing and swooning that she had finally decided to come in. After that my morning timetable began to look like this:

Monday – Luffy
Tuesday – Usopp
Wednesday – Chopper
Thursday – Vivi
Friday – Zoro
Saturday – Nami

And on Sunday, much to my amusement, everyone had begun to argue over who would occupy my lap. It turned out that it was a ‘whoever got there first’ day. So much to my surprise it turned out to be Zoro who I would wake up to find asleep on me. Needless to say the man isn’t light, so lunch on Sundays became a late affair which even more surprising, no one complained about.

I still have my naps and I’m still joined, which I’m pleased with. It gives me a little alone time with each of them, time which I cherish and wouldn’t give up for the world.


Did that make you squeal? It did me ^^

For the other character insights, please look to the comments on this entry.

Warnings: Language, x-rated thoughts, suggestive situations and may have one or two saucy bits in future chapters…haven’t decided yet ^^, rating will change accordingly if it does though. Does contain spoilers if you haven’t seen much of One Piece so don’t blame me if you find out some stuff you don’t want to know. Oh yes, may have some shameless implications of Yaoi.

Disclaimer: Don’t own One Piece or any of the characters therein. I do, however, lay claim to Sly and Deft, they’re my babies! ^^ (shape-shifting devil fruit may actually be part of Oda’s OP so I can’t claim to own that…)

‘..IT happens, but it shouldn’t happen to a guy like me.’

He’d never expected this would happen to him. Of course ‘Sods-Law’ decided he would be the one to be accidentally left behind as the remainder of the Straw-Hat Crew fled a surprise attack from the Marines. That had been a week ago.

He looked at the letter he had received by some extraordinarily fluffy bird from Nami. It said, though he noted that in lacking an apology or any slight form of grovelling (which he thought should be splashed liberally between every sentence), that he was to meet them at the next port that had been mapped for restocking supplies. Apparently, according entirely to Nami that is, this was the easiest course of action, and the safest. His arse! They were safe, he was being hounded by Marines Every. Single. Sodding. Minute. He couldn’t feel any more put out. Or angry. He let out a disgruntled huff. Maybe darling Nami-swan wasn’t all she was cracked up to be.

They had only been moored here two days. Two days. He looked skywards, hoping that some deity would decide to pity him and grace him with endless patience. Because lords (and ladies) knew he would definitely need it. His hand idly wandered to his pocket, only to discover it empty. He sighed indignantly. Of all the bloody times to give up smoking he had to have chosen now. Actually, Chopper had slowly worn away at him until the blonde had given in. Which was exactly two weeks ago. God he needed a cigarette. Sod it! He needed a cigar! He needed serious tobacco! He needed nicotine injected straight into his-

“It’s a Straw Hat Pirate Sir!”

That deity he had been thinking of a few minutes earlier? Yeah, He hated that deity. So much for divine intervention. He picked up his bag and began what seemed like his one hundred and thirtieth strategic retreat. The marines always had a problem keeping up with his feet once they got going, whether he was using them to rearrange facial features or ‘strategically retreating’. He never liked calling it ‘running away’. It sounded so…cowardly, yes. And there was no way he was some spineless-

“Chicken shit! Look! He’s running away!”

Took the words right out of his mouth. Classic Marine Jibe. Even the seaweed head was more creative than that. He jumped over a wheelbarrow full of melons then ran forward a few steps and stopped to watch the inevitable. And it happened, in the amusing form of several marines crashing through the harmless fruit. Well, it was harmless until they started sliding around in it and falling over. Not to mention the enraged melon dealer whose products had been so viciously raped. Said melon dealer had taken to using the remains of the fruit as a projectile weapon to be used in the abuse of Marines. The Sous-chef smiled at this misfortune of his pursuers but frowned at such a waste of food. They were good melons too. He should know, he had indulged in one earlier. Perhaps that deity wasn’t so bad after all. He continued his retreat.


Portgas D. Ace considered himself a man of the world. So much so that he endeavoured to speak in the native tongue of any foreign place he deigned to visit. This had not always proved successful and had often resulted in him being chased out of shops with brooms by old women. Actually, it was their husbands. He suspected he was being less polite and more suggestive, there was a very fine line between ‘I would like a mango please’ and ‘I would touch your mangoes please!’

It was at this moment, as he was being chased out of the third grocery shop by an irate young man when he ran straight into an equally irate looking-and strangely familiar- pirate. The young man crowed his triumph, leaving Ace and his new acquaintance in the middle of the road. The man he had landed on looked straight up at him, but not before booting him none too gently in the gut.
“H-hey now! Sorry about the crash, I wasn’t looking where I was going!”
“Apparently not. Wait a second! You’re Luffy’s Wotsit!”
Ace scratched his head. Luffy rang a bell, but this blonde, who was starting to rave about being marooned on this godforsaken island, did not.
“Wotsit? I believe you mean brother. I’m Portgas D. Ace. I’m sorry, but I can’t remember the name.”
“Sanji. Cook on the Going Merry.” The chef extended his hand, Ace shook it warmly*.
“That would explain the kick.” The blonde had the grace to blush and apologise before nodding.
“So you were saying something about being stranded.”
“Yes. Marines. Thousands of the Bastards. They decided to pay a visit whilst I was out getting the last of the stock for the ship. They were forced to leave without me. I’ve got to meet them here though.” He passed the note Nami had written him to the White Beard Pirate who read through it and laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“This chick really is evil! She didn’t even write even a vague ‘sorry’ for your little predicament.” Sanji rolled his eyes, the man had hit the nail one the head. So he wasn’t being picky. Nami-‘swan’ really hadn’t been concerned at all with his predicament. He smirked as he remembered that he also had Nami’s precious toothpaste and witch hazel in his ‘last minute groceries’. The last laugh was on her.
“I guess you’ll be making your way there then?”
“It’ll take me a while. Though when I find them, they may have poisoned themselves with each others cooking.” Both men laughed hysterically for a moment before Sanji paused and considered what he had just said.
“Umm…let’s not tempt fate shall we?” Ace suggested as he took the other by the arm and steered him into the back roads. As they walked along Sanji noted that the man seemed shorter. Actually, being that Ace was a full grown man, it was probably he that had grown. He groaned. Ace turned and regarded him quizzically.
“Something wrong?”
“I thought you had gotten shorter but it was me-“
“-that got higher! Yeah, I noticed that, but it was more the length of your trousers that told me that.” They both stopped and looked down at the Chefs obviously too-short-in-the-leg trousers. Sanji had been endlessly mocked since the swordsman had discovered his ‘growth spurt’. Luffy had begun to climb up him pretending he was a mountaineer and Usopp tried to tell everyone that Sanji’s mother was a giant and that was where he got his good looks and height…Usopp had trouble sleeping for a long time after that. Laxatives make excellent ingredients to soup, they were easy to disguise as vegetables. The swordsman was also treated to the same fate. Sanji shared this with Ace and the fire-wielder laughed aloud, startling some stall holders in the darker parts of the dirt-track.
“How about we get you a new pair of trousers, a drink and a travelling partner to your far out destination?”
“Sounds great, but I have barely enough berri for food for the journey so the trousers I can live without for the moment. Other than that, a drink and a travelling partner don’t sound too bad.”
“Good then you’ll join me for a drink, I’ll accompany you on your little adventure and you’ll let me buy us a set of disguises!”
“Disguises?”
“We’re big bounties you and I, so we need to keep a low profile! I’ll be a magician and you can be?”
Sanji stared at the man openly. What was he on about? Sure it made sense, but a magician?
“I think I’ll go for wine merchant.”
“Too obvious. Peddler? No, too shabby. How about…”
They past a sweet shop and an idea suddenly popped into Ace’s head.
“Sweet vendor!” Ace announced proudly. Sanji went pale. He had no desire to be arrested for looking like some kind of paedophile. Besides, he liked the ladies.
“I think I’ll go for…” Sanji glanced about and saw a blacksmiths.
“Weapons trader. That’ll do, for the moment.” Sanji finished, Ace whistled.
“Niiiiiceee. What are you going to sell, trade I mean?”
“Basics. You know, pick locks, small knives for cooking or self defence…that sort of thing.”
“Well, lets go and have that drink and then we’ll get set up for the trip.”
“Right, let’s drink then.”
And with that Sanji linked arms with his travelling partner and headed toward the nearest bar.

*No pun intend, at all. I’m so sorry -_-U that was so embarrassing, I didn’t even realise until my friend pointed it out…

Do you want the second chapter? Well, Do YA?

Well you wanted it so here they are!

BOLD Capitals = LUFFY,
Bold normal = Zoro,
Italics = Sanji,
Normal = Nami,
Bold Italics = Usopp.

Rule book. As penned by the Navigator of the Going Merry, Nami Mikan.

These rules, henceforth unsaid, yet still very much obeyed and respected have been written down for future reference, to settle any dispute that may arise between any number of the members of this crew.

- Nami Mikan, Navigator to Monkey D. Luffy, Captain of the Going Merry.

Rule 1.

The captains word is the final one, no buts, hows, whys, howls, maybes, just-wait-a-minutes, whats, what-evers, oh-you-bastard-just-you-see-right-here, or any body language that may suggest further dispute to the matter in question.

Rule 2.

DO NOT STEAL FROM THE MIKAN GROVE. The navigator is justified to either, maim, charge interest of 700% on all further loans, and generally humiliate at any given opportunity if theft is discovered, and rest assured, it will be.

Rule 3.

Anyone foolish enough to leave their meal unguarded during feeding hours deserves to lose it to one of the other crew members. No buts, hows (See Rule 1 for full list.)

Rule 4.

Any person stealing food from either the galley or the hull (storage room) can and will be hung and/or basted, braised and eaten by Sanji RedShoesJr*.

Rule 5.

The Navigator has exclusive ‘pissing-off’ rights in regards to all male members of the crew. There is no why, this is just how it is.

(RULE 5½ < AS WRIT BY LUFFY! XP!

I’M CAPTAIN SO EVERYBODY DUS EKSACKLY WHAT I TELL THEM! HA HA! I’LL TELL ZORO TO DANCE LIKE A CHICKEN …. THAT’S FUNNY!)

Rule 6.

Luffy, although captain, is not allowed to write in the rule book.
WHY?
Because…he’s far to busy to be worrying about writing boring stuff like this down…it’s the navigators job….yeah…
OKAY!

Rule 7.

Piddle in the middle and your feet will stay dry. I know it’s a sensitive issue but one of the boys can’t aim straight first thing in the morning! (If not, there’s no shame in peeing out a window into the sea, or over the back of the ship.

Rule 8.

Last to finish their dinner helps Sanji wash up.
This excludes the lovely lady on the ship, or any lovely lady, for as long as I am Chef aboard this ship no woman shall have dish-pan hands!
That’s lovely Sanji, but do remember, YOU have dish-pan hands!
So does the seaweed head, but he’s too embarrassed to tell anyone XD.
I do not have dish pan hands.
Of course not darling!
Piss off!

Rule 9.

No unnecessary poking of other shipmates!
WHY?
Because.
OKAY! YOSH!

Rule 10.

READ THE ROTA! The rota dictates whose turn it is to do what. For example Deck swabbing –Mondays = Zoro, Tuesdays = Zoro, Wednesdays = Zoro, Thursdays = Zoro, Fridays = Zoro, Weekends = Zoro am and pm.

Is there a reason for this blatant abuse or is this just discrimination against swordsmen?

No! Think of it as training ‘swordsman’! and as for the ‘blatant abuse’ comment see: Rule 5.

T/B/C…

I'm just about finished with an 'uber drabble', it's a little one shot that's a really long drabble. I'll put it up this afternoon for you.

Title: Each to his own. Burnt toast.

It wasn’t often that one Portgas D. Ace graced the Going Merry with his presence but today was a special day. It just so happened that the Straw hat pirates had crossed paths with the White beard pirate and had invited him to dinner (or more specifically, luffy had told him to come and join them for dinner.) that night.
And so it was that the captain and his brother were seated at the galley’s dining table engaged in animated chatter when Sanji, said captain’s faithful cook, decided to boot, and unceremoniously at that, both men out of the galley, quite literally.

“I haven’t even finished and you’re in here already! Lord, what have I got to do to kick some patience into you? Sorry Ace, don’t mind him, I’m always kicking him out before dinner.” The sous-chef added, in the hopes of appeasing the slightly affronted looking Ace.
Ace merely shrugged his shoulders and grinned in sympathy, although he hadn’t seen his brother for a while he had previous experience of his brothers appetite. Bottomless pit came to mind. Ace chuckled and dragged his brother away from the galley, looking to Usopp and the first mate, (ie. One disgruntled looking swordsman), to help keep his little brother distracted, or at the very least, entertained until Sanji was ready.

Meanwhile, in the galley, Sanji was busying himself with the usual; cooking, dishing up and setting pans to soak. From the banging on the door Sanji noted that it was probably safe to let them in. One final check though, to make sure everything was five-star, Baratie-worthy and delectable. One Ceaser salad, as a starter for his darling nami-swan, most beautiful maiden of all of the seas (all blue included). Several piles of randomly assorted, but still beautifully cooked and presented, meat dishes. On the bone for Luffy, off the Bone for marimo-head and long-nose and no sauce for any of them because their a bunch of uncultured heathens.
Sanji sniffed briefly in memory of the previous stakes he had served the three misfits, shuddered and gently touched the patch of a purple stain which was testament to his failed attempt at educating their taste-buds.
Back to the count up. That meatloaf that Chopper requested, though why the blue-nose reindeer had acquired a taste for it he couldn’t fathom. The Tortillas for himself, he fancied something spicy so he had just went for it with the spice rack. Oh it would never be the same again…poor spice rack.
And for the special guest of the evening! Ace would be having the something traditional that he had requested earlier. Namely a roasted leg of lamb with standard vegetables and mint sauce. He had felt rather put out at first upon hearing such a dull dish, but was pleasantly surprised at the change of pace it had given him whilst cooking the day-to-day meat frenzy.
The soufflé would be ready after everyone had finished. Good, everything accounted for, pick up pole, open door. Sanji poked the latch with the pole once, then again, and a third time before it uncaught and the door swung open, leaving Luffy face-first in the floor while Ace escorted Nami into the galley, quickly followed by the swordsman, the liar, the doctor and finally the captain, who had managed to scrape himself off of the floor.
As usual dinner was an affair only equalled in activity by a battle with either marines, or a new nemesis that Luffy had found on one of their stops.
It was halfway through the meal that Sanji caught a faint odour of something burning. He grabbed his plate* and peered into the oven, and upon seeing nothing wrong, or indeed burning, he returned and continued with his meal. Two seconds later he caught that awful smell again, this time he found the source immediately.
Ace was discreetly torching his vegetables and popping them into his mouth with a pleased sound. Sanji stared absolutely aghast at the travesty before him. His mouth even hung open in horror as he watched in undisguised disgust as the human flame thrower ruined his perfectly good cooking. The other occupants of the table had suddenly grown very still as they watched the Straw Hat Chef turn red, then a disturbing shade of purple as Ace still happily flame grilled his vegetables into oblivion.

“What in the name of everything holy…” Sanji had reached such a point of fury that he was robbed of all further speech.
Ace suddenly stopped his vegetable torture and slowly turned to the enraged cook. The rest of the Straw Hat’s suddenly grabbed their plates and fled out to the safety of the deck, or in Usopps case, the crows nest.
“Is there something wrong Sanji-san?” The dark haired man asked, innocence pouring out of every pore. The Sous-chef let out a barely audible growl as he finished the last bite of his meal. Then he rose, causing Ace to startle slightly at the sudden movement. Sanji carefully placed his finished cutlery into the sink and returned to the table. After taking a few calming breaths he unashamedly shrieked at the captain’s older brother.
“YES! YOU VEGETABLE-BASTARDISING ASSHOLE!”

Out on the deck everyone shrank away from the direction of the galley. Luffy turned to the navigator and grinned.
“Ace likes his food well done. He said it’s an incriminating taste!”
Nami shook her head and patted the Captain on the head.
“No Luffy, it’s an ‘acquired’ taste, and I think if Ace doesn’t ‘acquire’ a taste for real, un-burnt food, Sanji will baste him, braise him and eat him.”
Luffy’s eyes widened. “Eat him?”
“Well, he may chop him up into different parts and pretend he’s gone home and then when nobody suspects Sanji’ll sneak bits of Ace into our breakfast disguised as bacon! And into our lunch as ham! And even worse! He’ll sneak bits of the chopped up Ace into our dinner as Roast ACE!” Usopp declared, knee’s knocking like maracas. Zoro laughed, previous disgruntled moment forgotten, Chopper looked at the door of the galley in terror, hiding underneath Nami’s skirts. Nami rolled her eyes and laughed but Luffy frowned.
“I don’t think Ace would taste very good, he would probably taste like that nasty powder that Sanji puts on my tongue when I steal cookies.”
“Oh yes you mean the spicy reddish, orangey stuff! I suppose he would.” Nami said thoughtfully. She glanced up at Usopp and smirked. “I’m sure Sanji would be able to make something tasty out of Ace, wouldn’t you say so Usopp?”
“Absolutely! I think – “ but the sharp-shooter was interrupted by Ace flying out of the window followed by his burnt, and still burning dinner. This was later followed by a tortured scream of –
“OH GOD MY SOUFFLÉ! OH THE BLOODY INHUMANITY!”
Ace picked up his place of burning lamb and blew it out. It miraculously had remained attached to the plate, but that was probably because of the meat that had stuck to it after burning merrily away.
Luffy pointed to the galley looking to his first mate for advice. The swordsman looked from the galley to his plate and back again, carefully weighing up his desire to live.
“No way in hell.” He passed his finished plate to Luffy, saluted and quickly assumed his I-am-asleep-and-therefore-dead-to-the-world-unconscious position just beside the mast.
Ace licked the charred remains of his lamb.
“Mmm! Tastes just like chicken!”




* He grabbed his plate* and peered into the oven = anyone foolish enough to leave their meal unguarded during feeding hours deserves to lose it to one of the other crew members. Rule number 3. Going Merry log book, Nami the Navigator.